Going back to school? #nervous

Yes, it's been awhile since I have updated my blog regularly. I have to admit that I have been super busy and distracted with my plans to head back to school. Yup that's right single working mommy turned single working college student mommy. Haha... I think I may be in for a rough journey but this is sometihing that I've ALWAYS wanted to do. I am so super duper excited. And the best part?? I will be majoring in Marketing so I'm sure the more experience I get, the better my blog will be!!! I hope at least. This is not one of those things that I start and then decide after awhile that I just don't feel like doing it anymore. Because finishing a degree will ensure a better job, and ensure a better life for my daughter. But I also promise that I will continue to update my blog with fun topics about my crazy toddler, parenting, and surviving. Speaking of, my daughter as with all children, is growing up way too fast. I wish she wouldn't learn and grow so fast. I miss the little baby girl she used to be when she was still crawling and babbling. But now she is a toddler. Talking full sentences, and she won't stop asking questions, Haha. And she now runs faster than I do, she chases circles around her aging mother. I think my favorite part right now is that she doesn't always pronounce things right, so they sound funny. And she makes up her own words sometimes. Spaghetti is sketti. Popcicle is posikle. She's hilarious.
So my curious question to you is what is your favorite time? Crawling? Walking? Talking? etc. 

Potty training, Halloween, and Simple Pleasures Giveaway Winner!

So I realise that I haven't been on much in the last few days. I have a lot on my plate right now. Not to mention the technical difficulties with my internet.  Anyway, starting this morning I have been really pushing my toddler for potty training. We've tried in the past, but it was just kinda if she wanted to. Now I'm really focused on it. I know she's ready. She tells me everytime she goes potty in her diaper, and she seems really interested in her potty chair. So last night I got a bag of treats for her. The bag is full of candy, and other treats. My friend who potty trained her 4 children suggested that I find something to encourage my daughter. Anyway, so I sat her down this morning and we had a little chat about her potty chair, her potty pants (pull-ups), and the bag of treats she gets to pick from if she does go potty. She seemed to understand. Which made me super excited. About 20 minutes later, she said "Mommy, I gotta potty". So I showed her how to take her "potty pants off" and sit on the "potty chair". And SHAZAAM! I was so happy, we both were jumping up and down in excitement. She picked a green sucker from the "treat bag", and there you go! So far she has only had an accident once, but that's because we were outside and she was a little too distracted by toys. AWESOME!! So far, so good. Day 1 down.

I suppose you all want to know who won the Simple Pleasures Giveaway that ended yesterday. Well... (drumroll please)...

Its Bridget Gilligan!

Congratulations, Bridget! I hope you enjoy your prize pack!!!
Next on the agenda, I have been trying to come up with costume ideas for my daughter for Halloween. The only one I could come up with is pebbles from the flinstones. She has the red hair, and she's the right age for it. But in my area, bambam and pebbles have been done a lot. So any of you have any suggestions? Send me a twitter @MoreSmoresMama or just leave a comment! That would be really awesome! Thanks!

Well, I hope everyone is having a lovely day, and I hope you all are having fun!
Until next time,

How parents cope: Toddler Tantrums

Today I’m going to talk about a topic that is near and dear to me. No it’s not charity. No it’s not some sort of illness (unless you consider tantrums an illness). The infamous and dreaded temper tantrum!

A lot of people over the ages have written about temper tantrums. But my take is a little different.  See, temper tantrums are a part of life. I guarantee just about every toddler has had them.  So it’s normal behavior for toddlers, am I right? Most of the posts/articles/books that I have seen focus on how to get your child to stop, or atleast minimize them. Which I don’t disagree with. But what about us? How do we get through it? How do we as parents, cope with these dreaded temper tantrums?


 It is human nature to be uncomfortable with something we don’t understand. So the first step is understanding a temper tantrum. At this age, a toddler (no matter how grown up they may seem at times), just doesn’t have the capacity to understand an adult’s logic and reasoning. They don’t get just how embarrassing, frustrating, annoying, and distressing temper tantrums are to us. To them it’s just a way of expressing their emotions. Don’t try to get them to understand why tantrums are bad, they just don’t get it. Instead, try showing them more positive ways of dealing with emotion. Getting frustrated during your child’s tantrum is not only pointless, but can actually make it worse. Much worse, I’m afraid. Not only are you stressed out, but your child picks up on your heightened level of stress, and frustration.


I am by no means an expert in this department, but I do know that the louder, more frustrated you are… the more frustrated they are. Like you are feeding off of each other’s emotions. I have definitely had a hard time with this, and it’s a hard lesson learned. So back to how to deal with them. Walk away if you have to. If you feel like you just can’t calm down, and the situation is escalating, just walk into the other room. Take a minute to calm down. Take a few deep breaths. Turn on some soothing music. Whatever it takes. Children at this age have a low attention span. I’ve done this several times with my daughter, and by the time I walked back in the room, she had stopped and was focused on something completely different.


If that doesn’t work, distraction almost always does (atleast for me). And I don’t just mean for your little one. This technique can be used for both you and your toddler. Have a favorite movie that you love watching with your little one? Put it on, sit down, and relax. Guaranteed to not only distract the little attention span your child has, but it will also distract from the negative frustration and turn it into a good moment. Distraction can be used anywhere. In the car, in the grocery store, at home, anywhere. Creating a less stressed home, and a less stressed parent can create a less stressed, happy, calmer child. Remember that you are their example. If you stay calm, they will start to follow you. Hope this helps! And if you have any questions, either leave a comment, or if you would rather, you can email me at S(dot)moreland27(at)gmail(dot)com.

Curbing the dreaded "MINE!" phase for toddlers

Hello there Bloggyland!

Today is gunna be awesome! No work. No previous engagements, No appointments, No worries! I literally don't have anything planned for the day except to take my daughter to park after nap time. It's days like this that make everything else possible! Speaking of... just thought I'd let you know, I have a lot planned for the next few weeks. A few reviews, more giveaways, plus more fun stuff. OOooo I almost forgot. I submitted an essay to The Parent Du Jour, which is an online book of parent from ALL around the world. And... (insert drum roll here)... I am proud to say that in a few weeks time, my essay will be published on their website!! So excited, and honored to be a part of their project. As soon as my essay is published, I will post a link for you guys to go check out. :)

The last couple of weeks I have been teaching my daughter about money, and paying for things. Granted, she only has a piggy bank. But I'm one of those people that absolutely hates change. Especially when you get a collection going in your pocket and people can hear coming from a long way off and small children scream "I hear jingle bells! I hear Santa coming!". Haha. Anyway, so if I ever get change, no matter the amount, it automatically goes into her piggy bank (which means that she has more in there, than I have in my wallet, Lol). Now she knows that she can't just take things, and that she has to pay for them with her piggy. A totally awesome side-effect, that I wasn't really going for but is awesome nontheless, is that she has stopped claiming everything to be "Mine!" That drove me nuts. I think every toddler goes through that phase. Glad I finally figured out a magic cure for it. And also started teaching my daughter about the value of money early! One small step for toddlers, One giant leap for Super Moms everywhere! Love it. :)

Well, I hope you are all having a fantastic (and not so busy) day!
Until next time!

NEW! More Smores Monday Madness!

Hello there, Ladies (and gentlemen)!!!
I'm starting something new here on More Smores. It's called More Smores Monday Madness! You're probably wondering what the heck it is. Well I'll tell you...

Every Monday we start the week out, and (at least for me) Monday seems to be the most frustrating day of the week. A lot of traffic on the road, people cranky cause they have to go back to work, kids annoyed cause they have to go back to school, etc. That truck that cuts you off, the old lady driving 5 miles an hour, those slow college students j-walking, etc. Well, I'm here for you whatever the case may be. So take a deep breath, and let this be your room to vent! I wanna hear ALL about it (keep the language/subject clean though please)!!!! It doesn't even have to be from today, anything frustrating you this week that you want to share! So take another deep breath, count to ten... and tell me what makes you mad!!!!

(SOMEONE GOT A CASE OF THE "MONDAYS"!!!)

10 Day Challenge: Day 9

Today's Challenge is Two Songs:

1. In My Daughter's Eyes, Martina McBride

 I have to admit as I was thinking of my favorite songs this one jumped right to the top of the list. It makes me cry every time I hear it. This is the love I feel for my darling little girl. Hope you enjoy it, and make sure you have a tissue box handy!

2. Joy to the World, Three Dog Night

I know this song completely by heart. It has been passed down, generation to generation, as a lullaby. My mom sang it to me when I was a baby, and I've sung it to my daughter every night since before she was born. She won't go to sleep without mommy or grammy signing her "bullfrog song". :)

Wordless Wednesday!!!!

15 Tips for Single Parents

I have been a single parent for over two years, and it has definitely been a rocky road. But I have kept going, even when it seemed impossible. I know without Katy in my life, things would be very different. I love her with every breath in my body even though most times she is the cause of my frustrations. I know I'm not the only one out there. So if you are a newly single parent, or even a veteran who is going through a rough time, (some of these tips work for any parent, not just single parents): Take a deep breath. Stay calm. Here are a few tips I have learned that may help:

1. It's ok to be emotional:

I know that as single parents we want to be the backbone for our families. We need to achieve a balance though. It is okay for us to be emotional, and still be strong. I know I've broke down and cried many times after my daughter has gone to bed. A good cry can actually be a healthy release of emotions that we have been hiding from our children all day. But if you don't let it out once in awhile, the emotions you are holding in can backfire on you.

2. Be Creative:

How many times have you gotten un-wanted parenting advice from others, and you kept thinking "but you don't know my child, you don't live with him/her, you just DONT KNOW"? I used to do this all the time, completely dismissing any advice from others. But sometimes if we swallow our pride, and take a moment to listen, it just might help. If the advice doesn't quite work for your child, tweak it. Take someone's advice, and change it to fit you and your child. Be creative, and you just might come up with a solution!

3. Teach them your values:

Make a point of telling your children, what is okay, and what's not. And stand firm with what you believe in, even if it isn't what others think you should be doing. You are the parent of your child. No one else is.

4. Quit worrying about not having the other parent around:

This is something I still struggle with every day. But here's the deal: Single moms and dads having been raising children for a VERY long time. If they can do it, so can you. Just because the other parent isn't there, doesn't mean your child can't live a happy and healthy life.

5. Don't be scared to ask for help:

We can't always be Supermoms/Superdads. Sometimes we need help, but we are too afraid to ask. Keep in mind that just because you are asking for help, that doesn't mean you have failed as a parent. The old saying "It takes a village to raise a child" couldn't be more accurate. Make a support system for yourself of reliable family members and friends that you can trust to be there when you need them most.

6. Make them self-sufficient:

This is my favorite tip to give any other parent out there, because I have such a strong testimony of it. There is nothing wrong with getting a head start on teaching them a few things that will help them feel more grown up, while giving you more time to focus on other things. My daughter loves helping mommy with the dishes. She is so proud of herself when she gets her own snack out of the designated drawer in the kitchen. Instead of stopping in the middle of doing the mounds of laundry I have to go restart her movie, she knows how to press play when it gets to the menu. She opens the fridge, gets her own juicebox, and the only thing I have to do is help her put the straw in. Her favorite pair of shoes are a pair of clogs that she can just slip on, instead of me having to tie her tennis shoes. I know these seem like simple things, but they add up. A minute here, a minute there. Which means more time for me to get things done that I need to.

7. Make a plan/schedule/organize

Being a single parent can get pretty crazy and hectic sometimes. To avoid that feeling of "chicken with my head cut off", make a plan/schedule for each day. Try to organize your home to make things easier for when you only have a few moments to spend on it.

8. Keep your schedule:

Kids whine less about bed time, if they already know it's coming. So once you come up with a schedule, do your best to stick to it.

9. Stay healthy:

Healthy parents, means healthy kids. Make sure to take time to yourself, to keep yourself healthy. You can avoid frantically searching for a last minute babysitter because you are sick, if you just take a few moments to yourself each day to focus on yourself, and your own health.

10. Have a backup plan:

Ever had a babysitter back out at the last minute, and had to cancel that important meeting? When it comes to babysitters/childcare, school schedules, plans for the day, etc it's really important that you come up with a back up plan in case something falls through. You can avoid an un-necessary stress out session if you already have a plan when things go wrong.

11. Budget:

Living on a single income can be very difficult, especially in this economy. Take some time to come up with a budget for food, clothing, and other needs that allows you live comfortably. Putting a little of your paycheck in a savings account each month can also help for emergencies.

12. Schedule Alone time:

Make some time for yourself. Schedule a manicure. Watch a movie by yourself. Just a small amount of "Alone" time each day can do wonders for your own sanity. Don't Forget to pamper yourself! 

13. Focus on the positive:

There are going to be times when bad things happen, that you just can't change no matter how hard you try. Don't dwell on them, it's counter-productive and it will only stress you out. Focus on more positive things, or things that you can still change. 

14. Pray:

Prayer is a wonderful thing. Take time to thank God for the good things you have in life, and ask him to bless you with  courage, strength, compassion, and love. God always answers our prayers.

15. Sometimes you just have to let go:

If all else fails, just let it go. If you can't change the situation, just let it go. If something your child is doing frustrates you, but there's nothing you can do, just let it go. And remember that your child loves you, you love your child, and no matter what you will get through it together. Be strong.

I am not perfect, nor a perfect parent. Just doing my best. Sometimes that's all you can do.

Sending my love out to all you single parents.

-Sicily

Gray Hair and Spongebob

The last couple of years have been really hard on my hair. Ive dyed it numerous times in order to get rid of all the little gray hairs that seem to pop up with every tantrum my toddler has. Well, today wasn't any better.

The morning started out as any other morning in our house. Katy wakes me up, she eats her cereal, and then she asks me to start her favorite video on the tv in her room. All of this goes just as every other day. But then I walk out of her room for about a minute and a half, and I hear a blood curdling scream. And I have to admit as I was rushing in to her room, I was thinking "Oh goodness, what now?!" I meet her at the bedroom door and she is already bleeding heavily. At first I wasn't sure where the blood was coming from because it seemed to be everywhere. In her hair, hands, face, and clothes. I finally found the source. Her left pointer finger looked like something out of a horror movie. Mangled, bloody, and black and blue.

My mom was a nurse for most of her adult life, and she taught me a few tricks. So, I cleaned up the blood as best as I could, and we headed to my moms to get her opinion. We sterelized it with hydrogen peroxide, and bandaged it. My mom couldn't tell what it looked like until it stopped bleeding. So Katy sat and watched tv with us, and then fell asleep for a little bit. When she woke up, and my mom took a second look at it, she told me that I may want to take her to the hospital. So we went. I'm amazed at how brave, and calm Katy was all day. Even when the doctor put 5 stitches in the end of her finger.

So while my own nerves where shot, imagining the worst scenario ( a child with 9 fingers instead of 10), Katy was calm. Barely any tears. She watched Spongebob as the doc stitched her up, and then sat up and said "Tank you, you did good job Doctor man." At that point the doctor and nurse started laughing. I think I added a good ten new gray hairs today, and I also learned just how tough my little girl is. Now that it's the end of the day, and I'm thinking it over, things could have been much worse, and my daughter took it in stride and became my little warrior. Scars and all. *sigh* She's growing up too fast.

Need help for a needy single mom!!!

Okay so I need some help/ advice from anyone who reads this. I have a friend (another single mom) who is going through a rough time and simply cant afford new clothes for daughter who is starting preschool this year. Most of the clothes her daughter has are either a size too small or she is starting to grow out of them. I want to help her, but I'm not sure how. Any suggestions? I dont even know where to start. :( if you have any advice or suggestions or could point me in the right direction, email me at s(dot)moreland27(at)gmail.com, twitter me @Smores0988, post a comment, or find the fb page on the right(--->). I appreciate any help given!!!!

Outdated

For the past couple of days, my daughter and I have been watching VHS tapes that my mother had held on to from my childhood. My favorite being the All dogs go to Heaven series (showing my age a little). Several things have come to mind:
1. It's sad that kids today miss out on some of the movies we watched as kids... (Like the Adams Family, or The neverending story). I'm sure you can find them on ebay or something, but who does? Everyone I know watches cable, satelite, or netfilx. No one takes the time to look for their fave movies as a kid.
2. Anybody actually watch VHS anymore? Its funny that we have come so far in technology. But think about this. Any other moms out there been frustrated because your child's favorite movie has a scratch in the dvd/blu-ray? I know I have. (My daughter had a complete melt down when her Toy Story 3 dvd wouldn't play anymore.) But VHS dont get scratches. Sure if you pull the reel out of the cassette, its pretty much garbage. But if you want to replace a dvd/blu-ray its ten times more expensive then replacing a VHS (most of them can be found for 1$ or less on ebay-
DISNEY VHS MOVIE LOT / C...).
3. I'm curious, so here's a question: what type does your family use most? Dvd? Blu-ray? Netflix? Cable/satelite? Anyone else actually still watch VHS?

Totally worth it

My daughter, as with most single moms is the most important thing in my world. I must admit she is far more intelligent, and motivated individual than I am (not sure where she got that, maybe beginners luck on my part). Anyway, she seems to take care of me more than I do for her it seems. Perfect example of this happened earlier this evening. I had recieved some pretty distressing information earlier today, and I was having a hard time holding things together. I tried so hard not to show my daughter, because I didn't want her to stress, or be upset. But as every parent knows, sometimes you just crack. But my two year old, baby girl completely suprised me. It was like twilight zone (given the tantrum about watching elmo she had five minutes earlier). I was sitting on the couch and I started crying. My daughter walked up to me, and asked "you okay, mom?" She then patted my head like a dog and added, "It'll be okay, mommy." Kissing my cheek, and then gave me the biggest bear hug her two year old little arms could handle. I smiled so hard for the next five minutes, that my cheeks started to hurt. That is what makes this crazy life of being a single mom, totally worth every second.

Perception part II

Watch "Vanessa Williams - I See a Kingdom (from Elmo in Grouchland)" on YouTube
Goes along with my earlier post. Listen to the lyrics.

Perception

I know that it has been awhile since I have blogged, as I have been busy. Sort of anyway. So far my days have consisted of job searching, and taking care of my daughter. I have come to accept the fact that my daughter is very easily amused by some things and very easily bored with others. She is in fact a miniature version of myself down to the t. Easily distracted, easily frustrated, easily forgiving, and just as lazy at times. Every day we watch the same movie over and over again until I feel like smashing my head against a wall. There are only so many times you can watch Elmo in Grouchland before you want to throw up. I know I’m rambling, but I promise I am getting to my point. Elmo in Grouchland is very much a toddler movie, with some exceptions.  There is underlying adult humor, which you won’t pick up if you are under the age of 15. This reminds me of a discussion I had a few days ago about how sick and perverted old man Disney was. For example, the certain artifact you can find on the original cover of The Little Mermaid. Perception can be defined by age, but not just age. It can be defined by gender, race, sexual preference, area you grew up in, and also spiritual/moral beliefs. I had a discussion with another friend Kwapi (amazing writer and more- please check out his stuff- Twitter @kwapiv or http://www.facebook/kwapivengesayi), about perception of those with different backgrounds. So I have a question for readers: Is there an object (movie, book, experience, person, etc) that you look at differently now than you have in the past? What changed your perception? Was it age, your surroundings, friends, religious beliefs, etc? Leave me some comments/questions!

@Smores

Special

I try to raise my daughter the best way that I know how, but sometimes you have to let go of control. That was definitely a hard lesson learned. Especially, because I'm a complete control freak. There comes a point in time when as parents we learn that kids would much rather play with the 2$ wrapping paper, than the hundreds of dollars worth of new toys that we just bought with the last of our money just for their birthday. And there are always those people who look at you funny, as if your child might be 'special'. There is always that game that we play with other parents: 'Whose kid is better'. I know I've played it. A friend of mine from high school calls me almost every day, and I find myself stretching the truth. You always have to top them. It's like watching a couple of kids argue over who's toy is better. "My toy lights up." "My toy spins in circles, AND lights up." "My toy does that but it also makes flashing siren noises just like a cop car which always makes my parents run to the windows to see who is getting arrested!" Back to the point, as parents it's a never ending struggle to gain control with our kids, but the older they get the more control we lose (or we just stop sweating the small stuff). My daughter today refused to take a nap for about 2 hours. About 15 minutes after I had given up on her taking a nap today, she crawled into a plastic drawer she was using for her baby doll’s bed and fell asleep with her legs hanging out, but holding on to her baby doll as I were going to steal it away while she was sleeping. She slept for 2 hours. But by the time I was done fighting her on taking a nap, I was ready for a nap. Hence why my dirty dishes are still glaring at me from the sink. This is kind of thing that our parents always have opinions about. I mean it's not as if we aren't warned about these things. My mother (god love her, I know I do), keeps telling me to relax, calm down and just go with the flow. Do I listen? Absolutely not. She's a parent, so she's lost all control of me. See? She learned that lesson and chose to share it with me to save me the frustration. And then I feel like the 'SPECIAL' one. The only comfort I get is from the fact that my mother went through the same with me, because I was a little s***. Haha.