How parents cope: Toddler Tantrums

Today I’m going to talk about a topic that is near and dear to me. No it’s not charity. No it’s not some sort of illness (unless you consider tantrums an illness). The infamous and dreaded temper tantrum!

A lot of people over the ages have written about temper tantrums. But my take is a little different.  See, temper tantrums are a part of life. I guarantee just about every toddler has had them.  So it’s normal behavior for toddlers, am I right? Most of the posts/articles/books that I have seen focus on how to get your child to stop, or atleast minimize them. Which I don’t disagree with. But what about us? How do we get through it? How do we as parents, cope with these dreaded temper tantrums?


 It is human nature to be uncomfortable with something we don’t understand. So the first step is understanding a temper tantrum. At this age, a toddler (no matter how grown up they may seem at times), just doesn’t have the capacity to understand an adult’s logic and reasoning. They don’t get just how embarrassing, frustrating, annoying, and distressing temper tantrums are to us. To them it’s just a way of expressing their emotions. Don’t try to get them to understand why tantrums are bad, they just don’t get it. Instead, try showing them more positive ways of dealing with emotion. Getting frustrated during your child’s tantrum is not only pointless, but can actually make it worse. Much worse, I’m afraid. Not only are you stressed out, but your child picks up on your heightened level of stress, and frustration.


I am by no means an expert in this department, but I do know that the louder, more frustrated you are… the more frustrated they are. Like you are feeding off of each other’s emotions. I have definitely had a hard time with this, and it’s a hard lesson learned. So back to how to deal with them. Walk away if you have to. If you feel like you just can’t calm down, and the situation is escalating, just walk into the other room. Take a minute to calm down. Take a few deep breaths. Turn on some soothing music. Whatever it takes. Children at this age have a low attention span. I’ve done this several times with my daughter, and by the time I walked back in the room, she had stopped and was focused on something completely different.


If that doesn’t work, distraction almost always does (atleast for me). And I don’t just mean for your little one. This technique can be used for both you and your toddler. Have a favorite movie that you love watching with your little one? Put it on, sit down, and relax. Guaranteed to not only distract the little attention span your child has, but it will also distract from the negative frustration and turn it into a good moment. Distraction can be used anywhere. In the car, in the grocery store, at home, anywhere. Creating a less stressed home, and a less stressed parent can create a less stressed, happy, calmer child. Remember that you are their example. If you stay calm, they will start to follow you. Hope this helps! And if you have any questions, either leave a comment, or if you would rather, you can email me at S(dot)moreland27(at)gmail(dot)com.

Curbing the dreaded "MINE!" phase for toddlers

Hello there Bloggyland!

Today is gunna be awesome! No work. No previous engagements, No appointments, No worries! I literally don't have anything planned for the day except to take my daughter to park after nap time. It's days like this that make everything else possible! Speaking of... just thought I'd let you know, I have a lot planned for the next few weeks. A few reviews, more giveaways, plus more fun stuff. OOooo I almost forgot. I submitted an essay to The Parent Du Jour, which is an online book of parent from ALL around the world. And... (insert drum roll here)... I am proud to say that in a few weeks time, my essay will be published on their website!! So excited, and honored to be a part of their project. As soon as my essay is published, I will post a link for you guys to go check out. :)

The last couple of weeks I have been teaching my daughter about money, and paying for things. Granted, she only has a piggy bank. But I'm one of those people that absolutely hates change. Especially when you get a collection going in your pocket and people can hear coming from a long way off and small children scream "I hear jingle bells! I hear Santa coming!". Haha. Anyway, so if I ever get change, no matter the amount, it automatically goes into her piggy bank (which means that she has more in there, than I have in my wallet, Lol). Now she knows that she can't just take things, and that she has to pay for them with her piggy. A totally awesome side-effect, that I wasn't really going for but is awesome nontheless, is that she has stopped claiming everything to be "Mine!" That drove me nuts. I think every toddler goes through that phase. Glad I finally figured out a magic cure for it. And also started teaching my daughter about the value of money early! One small step for toddlers, One giant leap for Super Moms everywhere! Love it. :)

Well, I hope you are all having a fantastic (and not so busy) day!
Until next time!

I hate being so indecisive...

I realize that it's been awhile since I have just written a plain blog, no contest/giveaway, challenge, blog hop stuff, just me, my brain and the keyboard. I feel like I am at a cross roads right now in my life. I know I don't talk much about Katy's father, and that's cause he hasn't really been around much. In my opinion, he's kind of a deadbeat, but it's hard not to still care for someone who is the father of your child. Well we haven't heard a peep from him in about four months. Which is pretty typical. But I had tried calling him a couple of times to ask him to talk to Katy because she's finally at an age where she recognizes who her father is, and she asks to talk to him. But he never answered. Up until yesterday. He called and talked to Katy for about half an hour. Asked her how she was doing. All sorts of stuff. She absolutely loved it. But I'm having a hard time with him calling only when it's convenient for him. He only calls every once in awhile. So I guess I kinda have to make a decision here. Do I keep letting things go the way they always do, him calling every once in awhile? (He has only seen her twice in her life). Or do I tell him to stop calling because it confuses her? All I want to do is raise a happy, healthy, normal, and balanced girl. But I am not sure what to do on this one. I've asked several people, and I've prayed, but I don't feel like I've really come up with an answer. Which is really frustrating me. But it is ultimately my decision, which doesn't work well for me because I am very indecisive. I hate that about myself. Anyway, that's all for now. So until next time, dear readers.

-Sicily

15 Tips for Single Parents

I have been a single parent for over two years, and it has definitely been a rocky road. But I have kept going, even when it seemed impossible. I know without Katy in my life, things would be very different. I love her with every breath in my body even though most times she is the cause of my frustrations. I know I'm not the only one out there. So if you are a newly single parent, or even a veteran who is going through a rough time, (some of these tips work for any parent, not just single parents): Take a deep breath. Stay calm. Here are a few tips I have learned that may help:

1. It's ok to be emotional:

I know that as single parents we want to be the backbone for our families. We need to achieve a balance though. It is okay for us to be emotional, and still be strong. I know I've broke down and cried many times after my daughter has gone to bed. A good cry can actually be a healthy release of emotions that we have been hiding from our children all day. But if you don't let it out once in awhile, the emotions you are holding in can backfire on you.

2. Be Creative:

How many times have you gotten un-wanted parenting advice from others, and you kept thinking "but you don't know my child, you don't live with him/her, you just DONT KNOW"? I used to do this all the time, completely dismissing any advice from others. But sometimes if we swallow our pride, and take a moment to listen, it just might help. If the advice doesn't quite work for your child, tweak it. Take someone's advice, and change it to fit you and your child. Be creative, and you just might come up with a solution!

3. Teach them your values:

Make a point of telling your children, what is okay, and what's not. And stand firm with what you believe in, even if it isn't what others think you should be doing. You are the parent of your child. No one else is.

4. Quit worrying about not having the other parent around:

This is something I still struggle with every day. But here's the deal: Single moms and dads having been raising children for a VERY long time. If they can do it, so can you. Just because the other parent isn't there, doesn't mean your child can't live a happy and healthy life.

5. Don't be scared to ask for help:

We can't always be Supermoms/Superdads. Sometimes we need help, but we are too afraid to ask. Keep in mind that just because you are asking for help, that doesn't mean you have failed as a parent. The old saying "It takes a village to raise a child" couldn't be more accurate. Make a support system for yourself of reliable family members and friends that you can trust to be there when you need them most.

6. Make them self-sufficient:

This is my favorite tip to give any other parent out there, because I have such a strong testimony of it. There is nothing wrong with getting a head start on teaching them a few things that will help them feel more grown up, while giving you more time to focus on other things. My daughter loves helping mommy with the dishes. She is so proud of herself when she gets her own snack out of the designated drawer in the kitchen. Instead of stopping in the middle of doing the mounds of laundry I have to go restart her movie, she knows how to press play when it gets to the menu. She opens the fridge, gets her own juicebox, and the only thing I have to do is help her put the straw in. Her favorite pair of shoes are a pair of clogs that she can just slip on, instead of me having to tie her tennis shoes. I know these seem like simple things, but they add up. A minute here, a minute there. Which means more time for me to get things done that I need to.

7. Make a plan/schedule/organize

Being a single parent can get pretty crazy and hectic sometimes. To avoid that feeling of "chicken with my head cut off", make a plan/schedule for each day. Try to organize your home to make things easier for when you only have a few moments to spend on it.

8. Keep your schedule:

Kids whine less about bed time, if they already know it's coming. So once you come up with a schedule, do your best to stick to it.

9. Stay healthy:

Healthy parents, means healthy kids. Make sure to take time to yourself, to keep yourself healthy. You can avoid frantically searching for a last minute babysitter because you are sick, if you just take a few moments to yourself each day to focus on yourself, and your own health.

10. Have a backup plan:

Ever had a babysitter back out at the last minute, and had to cancel that important meeting? When it comes to babysitters/childcare, school schedules, plans for the day, etc it's really important that you come up with a back up plan in case something falls through. You can avoid an un-necessary stress out session if you already have a plan when things go wrong.

11. Budget:

Living on a single income can be very difficult, especially in this economy. Take some time to come up with a budget for food, clothing, and other needs that allows you live comfortably. Putting a little of your paycheck in a savings account each month can also help for emergencies.

12. Schedule Alone time:

Make some time for yourself. Schedule a manicure. Watch a movie by yourself. Just a small amount of "Alone" time each day can do wonders for your own sanity. Don't Forget to pamper yourself! 

13. Focus on the positive:

There are going to be times when bad things happen, that you just can't change no matter how hard you try. Don't dwell on them, it's counter-productive and it will only stress you out. Focus on more positive things, or things that you can still change. 

14. Pray:

Prayer is a wonderful thing. Take time to thank God for the good things you have in life, and ask him to bless you with  courage, strength, compassion, and love. God always answers our prayers.

15. Sometimes you just have to let go:

If all else fails, just let it go. If you can't change the situation, just let it go. If something your child is doing frustrates you, but there's nothing you can do, just let it go. And remember that your child loves you, you love your child, and no matter what you will get through it together. Be strong.

I am not perfect, nor a perfect parent. Just doing my best. Sometimes that's all you can do.

Sending my love out to all you single parents.

-Sicily