How parents cope: Toddler Tantrums

Today I’m going to talk about a topic that is near and dear to me. No it’s not charity. No it’s not some sort of illness (unless you consider tantrums an illness). The infamous and dreaded temper tantrum!

A lot of people over the ages have written about temper tantrums. But my take is a little different.  See, temper tantrums are a part of life. I guarantee just about every toddler has had them.  So it’s normal behavior for toddlers, am I right? Most of the posts/articles/books that I have seen focus on how to get your child to stop, or atleast minimize them. Which I don’t disagree with. But what about us? How do we get through it? How do we as parents, cope with these dreaded temper tantrums?


 It is human nature to be uncomfortable with something we don’t understand. So the first step is understanding a temper tantrum. At this age, a toddler (no matter how grown up they may seem at times), just doesn’t have the capacity to understand an adult’s logic and reasoning. They don’t get just how embarrassing, frustrating, annoying, and distressing temper tantrums are to us. To them it’s just a way of expressing their emotions. Don’t try to get them to understand why tantrums are bad, they just don’t get it. Instead, try showing them more positive ways of dealing with emotion. Getting frustrated during your child’s tantrum is not only pointless, but can actually make it worse. Much worse, I’m afraid. Not only are you stressed out, but your child picks up on your heightened level of stress, and frustration.


I am by no means an expert in this department, but I do know that the louder, more frustrated you are… the more frustrated they are. Like you are feeding off of each other’s emotions. I have definitely had a hard time with this, and it’s a hard lesson learned. So back to how to deal with them. Walk away if you have to. If you feel like you just can’t calm down, and the situation is escalating, just walk into the other room. Take a minute to calm down. Take a few deep breaths. Turn on some soothing music. Whatever it takes. Children at this age have a low attention span. I’ve done this several times with my daughter, and by the time I walked back in the room, she had stopped and was focused on something completely different.


If that doesn’t work, distraction almost always does (atleast for me). And I don’t just mean for your little one. This technique can be used for both you and your toddler. Have a favorite movie that you love watching with your little one? Put it on, sit down, and relax. Guaranteed to not only distract the little attention span your child has, but it will also distract from the negative frustration and turn it into a good moment. Distraction can be used anywhere. In the car, in the grocery store, at home, anywhere. Creating a less stressed home, and a less stressed parent can create a less stressed, happy, calmer child. Remember that you are their example. If you stay calm, they will start to follow you. Hope this helps! And if you have any questions, either leave a comment, or if you would rather, you can email me at S(dot)moreland27(at)gmail(dot)com.